• Am I in an abusive relationship?

    Violence can take many forms.

    Anonym voldsudsat kvinde ser ud over sø

“My boyfriend did not beat me, but he controlled me. So, I was very much in doubt: Is this violence, or isn’t it? Kvindehjemmet helped me to understand that it was mental abuse. That was why I was feeling so bad.”

Woman, 37 years

“’Why didn’t you just get up and leave?’ These are the prejudices many people have … But you are caught in a spider web. Because it is your mind your partner is manipulating. Today I can see it.”

Woman, 51 years

“I had reached a point where I thought there was something wrong with me. At Kvindehjemmet, I learned that this kind of thinking is completely normal when you have been living with violence … That helped me so much.”

Woman, 35 years

“Deep inside, I know I am good enough. But he could just not see it – or he just did not want to see it.”

Woman, 25 years

“I don’t think you can see it on people that they have been exposed to violence. I don’t think there was anyone who thought that about me, really.”

Woman, 45 years

Is there something in your life that feels wrong?

Many women are living with violence from the one they care for the most – a partner, for instance, or a family member. Violence can, for example, be that you get hit, shoved, held down or threatened with a weapon. But it can also be less visible and harder to see.

Violence can happen to anyone. Read more on this here if you are suffering from violence in your life or think that you are. You can also contact us. We can talk about your situation with you. If you feel that your life is threatened, or you afraid of what might happen to you, then contact us. We are open 24/7.

Violence is more than a black eye

Many people think that violence is only something physical. But the truth is that there are many forms of violence. Violence may be both physical and mental, sexual, financial and material.

For example, are you experiencing that…

  • you have to be careful what you say?
  • you do your best, but it is never good enough?
  • you are getting asked where you have been and who you have been with?
  • you are getting your SMS’s or your Facebook messages checked?
  • you are getting told to stay home and are seldom allowed to go out?
  • you are being persuaded to have sex even if you don’t want to?
  • you get followed or feel that you are being watched?
  • you are being held forcibly, pulled by your hair, shoved or pinched?
  • you have some favourite things destroyed?
  • you are not allowed to manage your own money?
  • you have had your life threatened?
  • you have been pressured to marry someone you do not want to marry?
  • your child has been shaken, ignored, threatened or punished?

All these things are examples of violence. Maybe you have experienced some of these things in your own life. Maybe you don’t think that it is violence. But it is, indeed, violence. And that is not okay.

Normal responses to violence

When you are exposed to violence from someone close to you, it will affect your thoughts and your feelings. You can react by getting very depressed and feeling disheartened. You can feel doubt about whether something really happened, or whether it is something you just imagined. Many women have difficulty concentrating. If you have children, it can be hard to be the mother you want to be.

Your children can respond by becoming afraid, sad, or introverted. Others respond by becoming unruly and angry. Many children believe that the violence is their fault. Those are all normal reactions when you are living with violence.

We know that violence affects children. Even when they have not seen the violence with their own eyes. By saying no to violence, you can help your children.

Listen to podcasts in original language told by women with various backgrounds and be inspired to live a life without violence.

This post is also available in: Danish

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